you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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