Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
