he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
