New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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