Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
