just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
