Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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