Welp...herpes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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