I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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