i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
