I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
