I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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