You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
