the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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