I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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