so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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