her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
