That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
