Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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