I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
