I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
