Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
