He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
