Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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