so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
