Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Two words: blizzard sex
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
