I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just had sex on a roof
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
