Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
