so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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