I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
