UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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