should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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