It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize