our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
