Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
