it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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