Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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