i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
