thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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