A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
