some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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