So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think i have herpe
just one?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
