1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
