I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
