Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
