you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
