dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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