We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
