no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
