my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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